UG.... the Budget!!!

OK, so I disappeared for a little while there. So much for my marathon posting to try to bring me up to date! I've just been going wedding crazy lately and I haven't had much time on the computer. In fact, I'm so wedding burnt out right now that I haven't even written in my official journal for a few weeks! All this information about different vendors that I've been meeting with - stuff I SHOULD be writing down so I don't forget - and I've just been looking at my journal and going "pwah, I don't feel like thinking about the wedding one more minute!" I just need a break! Well, I need to get started again on my routine items, and this is one of them. If I don't force myself to get back into a pattern, I'll never come back. So, with that being said, here are two joint entries both dealing with the budget - or lack there of.
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Jan 26, 2010
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Mom gave me one of those wedding organizer binders the other night. A very nice, pink one with folders, a ruler, sleeves, a hole punch, and a tote bag. Very classy. I was sort of speechless when she gave it to me since Celia had already given me one a few years ago. And I was speechless then because I had already started making my own binder to prevent the unnecessary purchase of a wedding organizer! Anyway, now I have two of them, and I like Mom's better, and I never used the one Celia gave me - although I DID lend it out to two of my female friends that got married. And so, now I had to figure out which to keep and what to do with the extra one.
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I'm actually a little confused on how Mom didn't know I had the organizer already when she knew I was lending it out to my friends, and I'm sure she's seen me putting all those magazine clippings in it at least once. Anyway, after a brief moment of deciding how to react, I finally decided to go with, "I really love this, Mom. I think this is actually nicer than the one Celia got me." Real subtle, aren't I?
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Well, needing to figure out which one to actually use, I went ahead and flipped through both binders. I didn't really get too far before I decided to journal instead.
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I've seen budget breakdowns before, but this was the first time I looked at one with some prospective numbers in mind. I'm now budget panicking again. For instance, the ceremony site I liked the most - along with all the extras such as rentals and an officiant fee - will run about two-grand. That is supposed to be only about five percent of the over-all budget. Therefore, if this proves accurate, my budget SHOULD be about forty-thousand! Not the ten-thou I had originally planned.
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I can't even save ONE thousand dollars, let alone FORTY! Plus, living expenses after the wedding! I'm gonna need a plan of action, because I clearly have no clue what I'm doing here!
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What I REALLY need to do is sit down with Mom, get an honest look at what she can pitch in, do the same with Kitty, and figure out financing options. Perhaps getting a credit card for wedding purchases. Maybe I HAVE to take out a loan. I've been trying to avoid that since I still have over half my student loan to pay back, and I'm sure Remy and I will have to take out a loan to get a place to live. So that's two definite loans, and then a third one for our wedding! We'll be so far in debt! TT_TT
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I really need help figuring this stuff out. Perhaps more time needs to be spent with all of my books and clippings and such to try to create some sort of plan for this. I need to sleep on it before I drive myself insane.
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Jan 29, 2010
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The wedding budget - or rather the lack there of - keeps looming over me. I keep trying to ignore it and get some basics figured out, but I just keep going back to the money issue.
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I spend so much time trying to figure out how to save money I don't even know what I'm saving money on. An actual wedding date means an actual due date for bills. The stress of throwing a wedding is already coming down on me. How can I have fun putting this together when I'm too worried about paying for it?
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Mom keeps telling me not to worry about the money, but how can I? I know she doesn't have that much set aside for me - she can't afford to - and I know she could really use as much of that left over money as possible, whether for herself or for Celia's eventual wedding. I already feel a bit guilty that Mom doesn't really have a retirement fund due to college payments, and the house falling down around us, and unexpected medical bills, etc. I just hope I don't put everyone I know in the poor house just because I refuse to elope with Remy.