Wedding Show Season

OK, so I took another quick breather, but I haven't really been doing anything wedding related lately anyway... so I may still catch up! Here's hoping. ^_^ Well, up next is my entry on my first wedding show, with the prospect of about four more to go! Whoot! Wedding Show Marathoning!
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Feb 24, 2010
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Tonight was my first bridal show as the bride! It was a little weird. I mean, I've gone to two bridal shows last year, but I was Sue's bridesmaid then. It was about her. It was about carrying around her stuff and following behind and being a "Lady in Waiting." Now, it's about me. It is the first solid thing I've done since the engagement. It makes that wedding day truly real for me. It's exciting and daunting and a little scary! I want to marry Remy so much, but since I still live with my mom, being married is the last step to truly being an adult. No more faking it. I can't deny that I'm an adult. Plus, it will be the first time that I'll actually live with a man. It's such a huge step.
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Another funny thing is that I didn't realize how I'd truly react to being "the bride." I thought I would be this cool cucumber who would be able to keep my head and be a hard negotiator. Be in charge. Be savvy. Don't get swayed by all the glitz, glam, and pampering! HA! Yeah right! I was such a meek little girly-girl tonight! Before, when Remy and I knew we would get married, and I was just waiting for the ring, Celia dragged me to a few placed to get ideas and try on dresses. Then - when it wasn't official - I would just shrug and inform anyone who asked that we didn't have a date quite yet because we're trying to build up the finances, and so I was just looking to get price-ranges to save up to. Yada-yada, no big deal. Now, however, now it was official, with an actual date. And so I melted. "When's your wedding?" the vendors would ask. And I'd respond with a shy giggle and a meek response of "October 2, 2011... OMG it's weird to say it aloud!" I'M SUCH A DOOOOORK! Every friggen time tonight! Every vendor! "Teeheehee... October 2, 2011." DOOOORK!!!! I must have been so red from blushing! GAAAA!
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Well, anyway, there I was, with my entourage of my mother and sister. We were at a hotel that was hosting the bridal show. We were some of the first brides to enter, and MAN was it a small show. I didn't expect how small. There were only about fifteen vendors there. The first vendor I went to was for a DJ. We chatted for a little bit and he seemed an alright guy. However, when he MCed the fashion show at the end of the bridal show, he seemed a bit cheesy. His jokes were a little lame, his musical choices - he gave examples of entrance music and cake cutting - were cliche, and he claimed he had a foolproof way of getting everyone on the dance floor. His method? He came over to me and Celia and pulled us up front. He then told us to get two more brides. OOOOOH, the look on the woman's face when I dragged her up! And all four of us picked one more person - of COURSE I decided Mom needed in on this! I'm so bad! And then all eight of us were instructed to turn to our right, hold on to the hips of the person in front of us, and then we congaed. We pulled more people into our line as we went, the line fell apart because people were too fast or too slow to hold on, I laughed as we went, but I thought, "No way are we having the conga line!" He finishes up by playing "New York, New York" and had those of us that remained do the kick-line. Finally, he places his disclaimer, "Everyone will be on the dance floor because I'll have you and your guests pull them up and do my dirty work," he joked. Sure, he DJs/MCs at a lot of sports events, but that is exactly what he seemed like he was Emceeing. My wedding will be a bit out there, but it's not a sports event.
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There was another DJ there that I was impressed with. They too gave a mini-demonstration during the fashion show. They seemed fun and playful and definitely not sports-events-cheesy. They did also promise to get everyone on the dance floor, but instead of embarrassing us brides, they had us laughing and WANT to join in by having the line of four DJs dancing.
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Well, to be fair, they DID start off by embarrassing one of the few grooms that actually came tonight. Right in the front row, drinking his beer - which you can tell is his ONLY way of getting through the night of dresses, make-up, and jewelry. The owner Tony came up to him and his fiance. He asked the bride if he was romantic when he proposed. She sweetly responded with "Yes." And after a short pause she added the disclaimer "in his own way." Whoops. When Tony called her on the disclaimer she realized what she did and instantly apologized for embarrassing her groom. Too late, Tony already told the groom that he had to make up for it now. With some prodding, Tony was able to get the groom to put down his beer and join the line of DJs up front. Tony then told the groom that this was his chance to make up for the proposal by showing his future wife how sexy he can really be. And that's when the fifth DJ - who was working the sound board - starting playing Apache by the Sugar Hill Gang. And all of us Fresh Prince of Bell Air fans knew EXACTLY what was going on, and we all started hooting and hollering! The groom, however, must not have been a fan, because the DJs had to teach him The Dance. At one point, one of the DJs actually went over to the poor groom and manually directed his hips because the man could not get it. It was hilarious, and you felt bad for the groom, but after all us brides had to do the conga and kick-line, it was fair play! ^_^
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Anyway, the DJs finished up by demonstrating other group dances like the Electric Slide - which they actually did to Michael Jackson's The Way You Make Me Feel - to prove you don't HAVE to play Electric Boogie to have the Electric Slide. They also demonstrated a new group dance that Sue is actually having at her wedding - the Cupid Shuffle. Watching these guys all come down and dance - not just hide behind the booth - was really nice.
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Plus, prior to their demonstration, I had talked with to the owner Tony. I like the guy. He was friendly and energetic and he really sold his company. He seemed to be able to talk for hours - which is good for a potential MC. Not that I want him to talk for hours, but the fact that he was so extroverted is good. I don't know how to explain it, but I had some sort of a connection with him. Mom seemed very excited about the company too. We ended up talking about it more and more after the show was over.
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Another cool part is that Tony's company also provides photography services, not just DJ. That's not to say that if you purchase them you automatically get both. I mean there is the option of hiring just a DJ, just a photographer, or a package deal for both. Which is cool. I like that if we find a better DJ or a better photographer we still might have the option of working with Tony for the other vendor service. You know? Well, the photography was nice, and the packages seemed reasonable enough. But the prices are still up there. I mean, the prices are about what I was expecting, but I sort of wish that they were cheaper than what I was expecting. This budget issue is going to kill me! I dunno.
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Well, there was another photography company there - this time it was just the photography. It was two women representing the company and the pictures were stunning. The thing that really impressed me about these women was their help with my plans. The two big questions tonight were "When is the wedding?" and "Where is the reception/where are you having it?" That second one killed me. Now, instead of "We're saving for the wedding so we don't know yet" the canned response has become "We have some in mind but we're waiting for nicer weather before visiting anywhere." Well, when I gave these ladies that canned response they asked where we were thinking. When I mentioned that Stroudsmoor Inn was my top pick so far they suggested a few more places that had the same elegance but be slightly more cost-effective. My mom, who was playing secretary tonight, never wrote so fast! ^_^
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Another important booth that I had gone to was a jeweler that was there. I told the gentlemen that my big concern was that Remy and I would like Celtic knotting and the Claddagh engraved into our bands. I've found about a half-dozen websites where we could purchase our rings, but none of them are quite right, and I'd prefer to NOT purchase our wedding bands off the internet. We just need the symbolism there, the rings don't NEED to come from Dublin itself! Plus, I'd prefer to pay a local vendor - help the economy at home and all. I've been thinking about getting a lot of our stuff from a local Irish shop named Donegal Square. They carry the Shanore jewelry collection, but we still run into the problem of not having the exact idea we had in mind. That is where the jeweler at the bridal show tonight can come in handy. After expressing my wedding bands concern, the gentlemen told me that they do indeed custom make jewelry if they can't find what we want. I like that idea. They even suggested Donegal Square when they heard what I wanted! Who does that!? Who suggests a possible other vendor!? They truly care about a bride getting what she wants, and that won me over.
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We sort of breezed past the travel agent set up at one of the booths. Since Remy wants full control over the honeymoon I couldn't really tell them anything - nor did I know what to ask them. The best I could do was gather up every brochure they had. I'll pass them over to Remy when I see him for Easter and he can figure everything out.
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Another booth I brushed by was the Mary Kay booth. I'm not a girly-girl and I only wear make-up for three occasions. 1) Goth make-up for when I do the Vampire: The Masquerade LARP with Remy, 2) When I go clubbing (which is very rare...), and 3) When I go to weddings. On the day-to-day basis I don't even wear mascara. Heck, half the time I don't even wear chap stick. And so I didn't really want to talk to Mary Kay. I didn't think I had anything to say. However, Mom reminded me that we can use their advice to know how to do my make-up on the wedding day. Alright, I'm not above using vendors solely for information. Well, each vendor had a give-away that night and so you just go to the booth, fill out an information slip, and viola, you're entered. Easy enough, and I could always use free stuff. And lo-and-behold. I actually won the Mary Kay prize that night. Oh, irony. I got a pretty box, a shower sponge, shower gel, body souffle, and an eau de toilette spray - which I didn't even know they actually still made, I thought it was just a Looney Tunes joke or whatever. Well, along with my new collection of free Mary Kay products - half of which I don't know what to do with - I won a free Mary Kay wedding consultation for me, my mom, and the bridesmaids.
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Well, the last major booth we went to was for a cake decorator named Piece 'A Cake. The cake samples were good. But what really got me is that the decorator - I think her name is Colleen... - sits with you and actually sketches and colors the concept art of your cake to make sure you are both on the same visual page. Great! As I just mentioned, I'm not above using vendors (sorry vendors, but I need all the help I can get!). Even if we don't use her, I could use her concept art for other vendors to make sure we're on the same page. To be honest, I have no clue what I want for the wedding cake - Remy and I have only talked about it briefly - and so having someone talk it through with me and flesh it out would be very helpful. Best part, since Remy lives four hours away perhaps I can talk her into actually giving me the concept art without a deposit under the not-necessarily-a-lie pretence of "I need to show the fiance."
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Well, that is when Mom completely sprung something on me. Setting up a consultation with the decorator! She's good, real good, and she's booking up fast, even for October 2011. No pressure, but who knows when she'll be booked up and not available for my wedding. And Mom ate it up. I'm not saying it's not true, but damn! Out whips the datebook, and I'm nudged to do the same. What's happening!? I just signed up to go to this show to talk to vendors and get ideas! I have no clue on the cake! I won't be able to sit down with Remy until the beginning of April! What am I going to talk to this woman about during our consultation! But, since I was already in my weakened state of "teeheehee, I'm getting married on October 2, 2011" I was bulled over! I just sort of nodded and went along with whatever they set up. I was a zombie from the shock of actually having a consultation with a vendor! I'm not ready for this! I'm in the early stages! I'm still trying to figure stuff out! What just happened!?
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Well, I had the DJ demonstrations and the fashion show to figure it out. When I talked to Remy tonight I still didn't really get what had happened, but at the same time I didn't want to go back to the woman forty-five minutes later and cancel the consultation. GAAAAH!
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Anyway, except for looking for coloring, I sort of ignored the C.E. Roth tuxedo fashion segment, because Remy isn't wearing a tuxedo or suit. He's wearing the "swordsman" shirt. All of the men in the bridal party are. And when it came to the wedding dresses, well sort of the same thing. Since I already have an idea of what I'd want my dress to look like, and this is the closest I've come to it, I was basically looking at bridesmaid gowns, mother of the bride gowns, and the draping and flow of some of the bridal gowns - in order to show Mom and Celia what I sort of had in my head.
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To make things easier, I ended up spending about two hours making a PowerPoint slide show of all the different dresses I've been saving pictures of over the years. The dress I have in mind is sort of a collaboration of them all, and so the slide show sort of comments as well as shows off some options. So now Mom and Celia seem to really get what I have in mind. Before Mom was afraid I'd look like a Renaissance Faire runaway, but now she's excited and wants to find a coordinating dress for herself. She even said that I better not have "modern looking" dresses for the bridesmaids otherwise it will throw the whole look off. She totally trusts my choice in attire and is so excited about it! Below is actually a video capture of the slide show. Sorry for that bit at the end where I have to turn off the capturing device, as well as the quality of the video.... Also, I'm sorry the video is so tiny. I hope you can see everything alright. I may just repost all of these pictures with their captions in the blog I'll eventually post about my wedding gown. If you can't really see the below video just hold out until then. Sorry!

*clears throat* Anyway, aside from feeling like a gitty idiot who did mostly shrugging throughout the evening, as well as feeling a bit overwhelmed and a bit pressured, I enjoyed myself and I'm all for the next month being filled with more shows. I think I've learned a lot tonight and I think I know how to process all of this better for next time. I'm just glad I had Mom as my secretary, Celia as my pack-mule, and I got to be pampered and the center of attention for once. ^_^

This is me still trying to be good and catch up with my blog entries. This is taking so long! As soon as I'm caught up here I have to then backtrack and write my views of each vendor and wedding show I went to since, well, mid February! This is feeling more and more like a chore and I'd rather sit back, drink, and play video games. However, I owe it to my future self, my future marrying-off children, and any reader I might actually have (you guys ARE out there... right????) to continue with this blog. It's not so bad to just put my thoughts to paper - er... computer screen - and it's not like this blog will go on forever. This is only until my wedding day. So I can suck it up...
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Anyway, shortly after Valentine's day I discovered my new favorite wedding site! Here's the entry.
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Feb 18, 2010
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I was working on my new blog as well as my wedding page on TheKnot.com. I was posting information about the handfasting ceremony and it occurred to me that some people who looked at these sites might not know what I mean. Instead of taking the time, effort, and space to type up everything myself, I did a google search to find some helpful links that explain handfasting. While doing this I was able to stumble upon a site that actually sold handfasting cords! Most of them were on the gaudy side, but the few nice ones I found I saved to my wedding thumbdrive.
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This then led me to search Google for more handfasting cord pictures; so that I can figure out how to make ours - and save some cash. That was when I stumbled upon The Offbeat Bride. A website dedicated to tell the stories of non-traditional brides. It was like TheKnot.com, but for us crazy brides! Seriously, if you are a crazy and out there and non-traditional bride, this is the place to go for ideas! And how exactly DID I discover OBB? It was one of the google hits I had while searching for handfasting cords. A bride actually described her step-by-step process of how she made her own wedding cords for her handfasting ceremony! Whoot!
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I then proceeded to lurk the site. I could click on a filter to see all different weddings under one "genre." I chose "geeky" to try to get some ideas for the "Gamer Chic" reception Remy and I are having. You like that term? Gamer Chic. ^_^ I'm such a nerd!
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Anyway, the first wedding was Sci-Fi themed with multiple Star Wars references, such as a Han and Leia cake topper and rings engraved with "I Know." They also had a "first RockBand duet" along with their first dance. Apparently everyone loved watching them play their first game of RockBand as husband and wife! ^_^
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The element that really got me is something I've been interested in for a while now - naming tables for the reception instead of numbering them. The question then becomes "how do we name them?" Some brides use significant years throughout their lives and seat people according to those years. For instance, extended family at the childhood years, college friends sitting at the college years, etc. Another thought was to use names of Knights of the Round Table in order to keep the Celtic theme going, and we could perhaps even slide in a Holy Grail joke or two. Such as placing the unclaimed escort cards on to a table labeled "Sir Not-Appearing-At-This-Reception."

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What this particular Sci-Fi-Themed OBB couple did was name the tables after fictional places, like the planets in Star Wars or Hogwarts Castle from Harry Potter. This made me think of naming the tables off of game worlds. This could include Legend of Zelda's Hyrule, The Mushroom Kingdom of Super Mario Bros., Fable's Albion, or The Floating Isle from Sonic the Hedgehog. Aside from maybe the Mushroom Kingdom, these places all sound sort Celtic, don't they? This could be a nice transition between the Celtic wedding and the gamer reception. Another option, if we wanted something a bit more hard-core, would be to use Super Smash Bros. levels. Teehee, Mom cringes at the thought every time. ^_^
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Three more brides really stood out for me, but I couldn't really use any of their ideas. The next bride threw in a touch of Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy. Her groom made wedding programs with "Don't Panic" on the cover. Inside the program he described the unorthodox ceremony with a Hitchhiker's-like wit that would make Douglas Adams proud. The bride even included a word search, in case anyone actually got bored! I love this idea so much, but it wouldn't fit in with our Celtic theme whatsoever. I am planning on explaining the "unorthodox" wedding in our programs though, so there is that.
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The second stand-out bride had an eight-panel comic as her wedding invite! The comic itself tried to include too many elements for it to really make sense to me, but the idea was still awesome. I'll just let you read the invite instead of trying to tell you about it. Check the above link! *clears throat* Anyway, my favorite part is where Link and Zelda remove their faces to reveal that they are actually the bride and groom in disguise. How cool would it be to be depicted as Link and Zelda? Or even as a comic strip character? Well, the actual invite was on the opposite side and said such things as "[We] request the honor of your presence as two geeks save the princess, resist the dark side and pledge their lives (extra, or otherwise) to each other." They even included the Hyrulian Crest (from Zelda)! Remy and I won't be doing this for our invite though, because, just like with the Hitchhiker's Programs, the invite is supposed to set up the feeling of the wedding - which is Celtic, not gamer. Anyway, I also went to their wedding site and their writing is so funny! Whoever is writing the blog - or whatever - is very witty. I wish I had that wit. I might actually have some readers of my own. ^_^ The crowning jewel, however is the song "Mario Kart Love Song" that plays on their homepage. I have to admit I got a bit teary-eyed the first time I heard it! How sad is that? I need a copy so bad!
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Well, the final bride really jumped out at me because she became so viral that her and her groom needed to make their YouTube posting private to prevent wedding crashers! Didn't help though, since OBB posted a link where you can still see the post. What is so epic about this couple's video? They FILMED a Save the Date VIDEO!!!! It has just about every genre, recognizable movie parodies, and the deep trailer voice over. I laughed the entire four minutes and quietly cursed both the fact that I didn't think of it first, and my inability to do the same thing. The real funny thing is that this couple is also getting married in October after waiting six years for the proposal. OOOOOOOOOoooo, triiiiiiippy! ^_^

Attack of the Wedding OOOR... a Blog is Born!

Ok, in an attempt to try to be a little better with this whole blogging thing - and because there is nothing good on TV - I'm posting another journal entry. Go me! Oh, and even though I edited it out, this is the journal entry where I decided to start this blog! YAY!
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Feb 8, 2010
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I was planning on spending my Friday cleaning and grooming/pampering before going to work at four. However, I ended up spending the day doing some wedding planning. Best laid plans and all.
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Ok, so there wasn't really any PLANNING going on, but there was organizing! I went back through my "1001 Ways to Save Money...and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding" book. I had the book littered with mini-post-it notes to highlight ideas. While going back through the book I removed tabs that didn't seem like good ideas anymore; I tabbed ideas that didn't strike my fancy before, but now, with some more planning under my belt, seemed plausible; I refreshed my memory of ideas that always seemed good. I got about two-thirds through the book before getting bored.
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I then tried to tackle the mass of Bridal Magazine clippings, finally! That was when I realized that not too many of those clippings were actual picture depictions of options. Most were advice columns. What was even better was that I clearly just ripped out the page, assuming I'll eventually need the advice given on it. Most of the questions didn't apply to me at all. Such as: second marriage options, destination weddings, divorced parents, convict siblings, and adult-only weddings. Why did I think I needed advice on any of these topics!? I spent the next few hours clipping the few bits of advice I could actually use and junking everything else. I actually filled a grocery bag of crumpled-up, unwanted clippings. Go me!
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Further planning was put on hold due to work. The next time I had a chance to talk to Mom I decided to just jump right in and asked about the budget. I just NEEDED to get this sorted out before I could go any further! Remy's parents are on fixed incomes due to retirement and/or disability, and so I knew they couldn't really give us any money - they have less than my mother to spare. Mom is pretty much the only help we have, and I need to know if that help is for a couple hundred or for a couple thousand.
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Mom just wouldn't respond! She didn't want to quote a value and not find that money when we need it, nor did she want to under quote me and find more money after we found a cheaper option - or something like that. She also confessed that she had no clue on current wedding prices. She also didn't really know all the little things needed for a wedding since her mom took over her wedding. Mom pretty much had no say in her own wedding! My grandma took care of everything! And now Mom's claiming that she doesn't want to do the same thing to me, but at the same time she's not being to helpful of a sounding board! *sigh* And so, aside from a mini-bank, moral support, and free labor, Mom isn't going to be much help in the planning process. All the more reason to keep this record I guess. This way I can help my children, instead of responding to their quandaries with "um, I don't really remember, sorry honey."
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Anyway, after some teeth-pulling, I got Mom to commit to paying for the ceremony/reception venue (which she thinks is the most important part), and the gown (another key part and traditionally the parent's gift to the bride anyway). So two expenses down; only a few hundred more to go! *groan*
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OK, so all that went down on Friday. This morning I spent three hours listening to my "wedding" playlist and writing down some ideas to discuss with Remy when I see him in FOUR DAYS!!!
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I came up with some ideas for the honeymoon, wedding favors, bridal party attire, my gown, our invites and programs, the cake, reception menu, dessert, transportation, and our wedding and reception flowers. I feel like I've actually accomplished some things now! And so I feel proud of myself, regardless of whether or not I actually DID accomplish anything. ^_^

UG.... the Budget!!!

OK, so I disappeared for a little while there. So much for my marathon posting to try to bring me up to date! I've just been going wedding crazy lately and I haven't had much time on the computer. In fact, I'm so wedding burnt out right now that I haven't even written in my official journal for a few weeks! All this information about different vendors that I've been meeting with - stuff I SHOULD be writing down so I don't forget - and I've just been looking at my journal and going "pwah, I don't feel like thinking about the wedding one more minute!" I just need a break! Well, I need to get started again on my routine items, and this is one of them. If I don't force myself to get back into a pattern, I'll never come back. So, with that being said, here are two joint entries both dealing with the budget - or lack there of.
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Jan 26, 2010
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Mom gave me one of those wedding organizer binders the other night. A very nice, pink one with folders, a ruler, sleeves, a hole punch, and a tote bag. Very classy. I was sort of speechless when she gave it to me since Celia had already given me one a few years ago. And I was speechless then because I had already started making my own binder to prevent the unnecessary purchase of a wedding organizer! Anyway, now I have two of them, and I like Mom's better, and I never used the one Celia gave me - although I DID lend it out to two of my female friends that got married. And so, now I had to figure out which to keep and what to do with the extra one.
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I'm actually a little confused on how Mom didn't know I had the organizer already when she knew I was lending it out to my friends, and I'm sure she's seen me putting all those magazine clippings in it at least once. Anyway, after a brief moment of deciding how to react, I finally decided to go with, "I really love this, Mom. I think this is actually nicer than the one Celia got me." Real subtle, aren't I?
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Well, needing to figure out which one to actually use, I went ahead and flipped through both binders. I didn't really get too far before I decided to journal instead.
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I've seen budget breakdowns before, but this was the first time I looked at one with some prospective numbers in mind. I'm now budget panicking again. For instance, the ceremony site I liked the most - along with all the extras such as rentals and an officiant fee - will run about two-grand. That is supposed to be only about five percent of the over-all budget. Therefore, if this proves accurate, my budget SHOULD be about forty-thousand! Not the ten-thou I had originally planned.
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I can't even save ONE thousand dollars, let alone FORTY! Plus, living expenses after the wedding! I'm gonna need a plan of action, because I clearly have no clue what I'm doing here!
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What I REALLY need to do is sit down with Mom, get an honest look at what she can pitch in, do the same with Kitty, and figure out financing options. Perhaps getting a credit card for wedding purchases. Maybe I HAVE to take out a loan. I've been trying to avoid that since I still have over half my student loan to pay back, and I'm sure Remy and I will have to take out a loan to get a place to live. So that's two definite loans, and then a third one for our wedding! We'll be so far in debt! TT_TT
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I really need help figuring this stuff out. Perhaps more time needs to be spent with all of my books and clippings and such to try to create some sort of plan for this. I need to sleep on it before I drive myself insane.
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Jan 29, 2010
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The wedding budget - or rather the lack there of - keeps looming over me. I keep trying to ignore it and get some basics figured out, but I just keep going back to the money issue.
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I spend so much time trying to figure out how to save money I don't even know what I'm saving money on. An actual wedding date means an actual due date for bills. The stress of throwing a wedding is already coming down on me. How can I have fun putting this together when I'm too worried about paying for it?
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Mom keeps telling me not to worry about the money, but how can I? I know she doesn't have that much set aside for me - she can't afford to - and I know she could really use as much of that left over money as possible, whether for herself or for Celia's eventual wedding. I already feel a bit guilty that Mom doesn't really have a retirement fund due to college payments, and the house falling down around us, and unexpected medical bills, etc. I just hope I don't put everyone I know in the poor house just because I refuse to elope with Remy.

A Wedding Date is Picked!

Whoot! I typed that last blog post up so quickly I am able to quickly do a second post! Hooray for catching up! Anyway, let's get to it before I run out of time!
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Jan 2, 2010
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Happy New Year! I have to get used to writing 2010 instead of 2009. Anyway, through some strong-arming by Mom, I have decided on a wedding date! I, uh, called Remy after the fact to inform him of such. *blush*
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So Remy had originally picked out October 6th as our wedding date because of a two-hold reason. First, because October is my favorite month, so why not make it even better? Second, our anniversary is May third (5/3), and since a marriage is twice as important, why not double the date? Thus October sixth (10/6). Throughout the years, October 6th - originally a weekend date for the year Remy wanted to get married in (2006 or 2007) - has fallen on a weekday, and so we just decided to get married the first Sunday of October. Why Sunday? Um... because it's cheaper than Saturday. *blush again*
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Well, now that Remy and I are OFFICIALLY engaged, a date needed to be picked. Not know which year we'd be financially ready, I chose one date in each of the next three years. October 2nd if we're married by 2011. We'll have October 6th back (but as a Saturday) if we're married in 2012. And we'll have our prized October 6th on a Sunday in 2013. In 2013 Remy and I will be a couple for ten years, so I sure as hell hope we'd be married by then!
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Anyway, at Christmas one of my cousins on my mom's side of the family had proposed to his long-term, share-a-house, girlfriend (in other words, we knew it was coming soon). Well, yesterday my mom's side of the family gathered for New Years at my one aunt's house. While there, I guess my cousin's mom informed my mom that he was looking at a date in late September. Afraid that they would pick a date too close to mine, Mom ORDERED me to solidify a date. Sort of calling "dibs." Personally, I thought informing them of the three dates I had in mind would be good enough. Just stay away from the first weekend in October for the next three years, not too hard. Mom wanted an official date, however.
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She also figured that now I can officially start talking to vendors without having to state "I'm getting married when I have the finances, and so I'd just like a quote so I can guesstimate what I need to budget." Admittedly a bit of a mouthful I'm not sad to see go. I still tried battling back, however, informing Mom that I couldn't possibly pick a date because I didn't know about our finances - which are growing painfully slowly - and Mom always rebutted with "You can always push the date back." Well, if that's the case, why pick a date? Why not say "Either October 2, 2011 or October 6, 2012 or 2013, depending on finances"? I mean, people may say "Oh, the wedding is October of 2011" and end up filling up the 2012 or 2013 date. It just seems easier for people to have one day each year planned to be open and if we get married the year before they can just fill it in later. Ya know?
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Well, regardless, Mom twisted my arm and we chose October 2, 2011. It was indeed a tough choice, however. Do I get married to Remy in a little more than a year or do I push back our marriage one MORE year so we can have our beloved October 6th anniversary date? I have to admit that although being married to Remy in 2011 would be AMAZING, a part of me still kind of wants some sort of delay to force us until 2012 so we can have that original date back.
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Oh well, the date is set and it's posted on Facebook as an unofficial "save the date." That was when I realized how bad it would be if Remy found out our wedding date a)through Facebook, or worst b)through a mutual friend who saw it on Facebook. So I quickly called him with the FYI. Thankfully he had no complaints about the date I selected.
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On May 3, 2010 we will be a couple for seven years. I waited six for the ring. And now we have an official wedding date after so long. It feels weird. Good weird, but weird. ^_^ Let the countdown begin!

637 days!
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Oh, P.S.
I talked to Clarissa on the phone tonight! Yay! I haven't really had a chance to connect with her ever since she moved out to Washington state. Well, she's one of the few people that has been a large supporter of me and Remy the entire relationship, and she was just so excited to hear about my wedding planning progress. She wants to help us any way her creative mind can.
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Originally, she was offering to make my gown - since no one makes a style even close to what I've been picturing, and so I'll probably need it custom made anyway. And even though I think she's a great seamstress and was very gung ho about the offer, she isn't terribly confident in her own skills.
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After talking some more we fell upon the rose/sword motif. Clarissa is a great artist and is pretty good at Photoshop. Now artistic little Clarissa is in charge of designing the computer graphic rendering of the motif I will plaster everywhere! I was originally do it myself, but she's better at drawing than I am, it's one less thing for me to worry about, and it would mean so much for her artwork to be attached to SOOOO much of my wedding. I'm excited!

Location, Location, Location

OK, so I'm running about three steps behind when it comes to journal entries versus blog posts. Even though I have this blog up and running, I'll still be posting things that happened today about a week from now before I finally catch up. I'm thinking I'll try to start posting multiple journal entries on the same day to cover some ground. However, with pet sitting and bridal shows and consultations I'll be hard pressed to find the time this weekend. Here's hoping I can catch up soon. In the meantime, more journal entries! ^_^
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Dec 28, 2009
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Major wedding planning day! While watching "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera" on WE network, I started talking with Remy about ceremony and reception venues. Neither of us really have an idea as to where to get married. We know it would be outside, and Remy finally made the executive decision of getting married in PA.
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Well, with this on my mind I just could not sleep this morning. I was up at 6:30 and gave up trying to fall back to sleep about an hour later. Not managing to keep wedding planning out of my head, I gave in and started an internet search for wedding locations in the area.
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I searched via the oh-so-trusty Google and the first hit was a large listing of all these different locations. I went through and compiled my own list of ones I thought were acceptable. An hour of research later I was able to narrow the search down to about fifteen locations. The funny part is that three of them are (at least former) clients of Icarus Communications! And on top of that, about half of those I selected were golf courses. I guess the only open land left in the area is reserved for golfers.... Anyway, I wrote notes about each location and emailed them to Remy and Mom for their input. I'm not a huge fan of all the locations I placed on my list, but I saw some sort of potential and I included them for financing reasons.
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I do have six locations that I want to really concentrate on. So let us do a drumroll for LycoRogue's Top Six Locations!
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Starting with Number Six: BarnHouse Villiage
It's an inn and so our out-of-town guests could stay there - kill two birds with one stone. Inside one of the ballrooms is this gazebo-like set-up which looks really cool. Outside is an actual gazebo that is huge and gorgeous.
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Number Five: The Green Pond Country Club
This has an equally beautiful gazebo and a nicer reception hall that includes a fireplace. I think this then knocks BarnHouse out of the running except for finance reasons.
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Number Four: The Club at Morgan Hill
Yet another golf course. I also have a pen from their catering service that I received at a bridal show I went to with Sue last year. Anyway, there were very few pictures online, and so I'm not really sure what the place looks like. This is pretty much my main reason for it to be Number Four. It may get bumped up once I actually see the place. I can say now, however, that what I CAN see on the website looks amazing.
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And now the top three!
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Number Three: Riverview Country Club
This is Mom's favorite location. Her reasoning is that there are easily twenty different places to get amazing wedding photos shot at. The Riverview Country Club has that all-so-important gazebo, but what makes it stand out against the others is that theirs has a wood-woven roof. From a distance it looks sort of like a Caribbean hut. However, the close-up photos make it look rustic with a bit of a Wiccan/Old World feeling that works well with our Celtic theme. There is also a very long wooden walkway to the side of where the guests will be sitting. This acts as the bridal party entrance/exit aisle. The clubhouse itself - where the reception will be - has this gorgeous stone front and is up on a hill. This is another reason Mom loves it so much. Neither Remy nor I see it, but she claims it looks like a castle. The interior has this stone column that appears to also house a fireplace. There are also glass walls and - excuse the pun - a nice marriage of stone and wood. This place definitely has potential.
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RUNNER UP - Number Two: Ehrhardts Waterfront Resort
This one used to be my favorite until I discovered the Number One location. When it came to my wedding, I always dreamt of one of two things being in the ceremony background: breathtaking mountain vista or an overlook of water. The look at the waterfront is gorgeous. The shots on the website that were taken on the dock are just so pretty. There are well-groomed yards with beautiful trees and flowers, which create excellent picture location alternatives to the water side. I just fell in love, but the fact that they provide a wedding coordinator may have been an additional factor in that. Mom is nervous that the location won't look as breathtaking for my wedding; pointing out that all the water vista shots are at sunset and Remy and I are getting married early afternoon. Also, even in early October people might still boat on the water behind us. How will that look? Final downside of this location? Although I love the tree-lined clearing for the wedding, Remy is allergic to all known trees. Some affect him differently - some it's just the pollen, others it's the sap, and in rare cases he'd need it to somehow enter his bloodstream - but a lot of them appear to be evergreens which affect him the worst. I'm just not sure I want Remy drugged up on allergy medicine on our day. Regardless, I still love this location and it's Remy's second favorite as well.
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AND THE WINNER IS!
Number One: The Stroudsmoor Country Inn
This one actually has multiple wedding locations on its grounds in order to cater to a multitude of brides and guest sizes. What really solidified it for me is that the first picture they have on the wedding page is a shot of men in kilts! Another shot has men dressed as Renaissance trumpeters. If the location worked for those looks it would definitely do it for ours! Like Ehrhardts Waterfront Resort, the location comes with a wedding planner, which is a HUGE plus since I can't afford one and I seriously need help!
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There are six available locations on the property and I love all but one. One of the locations, the Woodland Chapel - one that looks familiar and may have been where one of my high school friends got married (saw pictures on Facebook) - would normally be my favorite pick. It is a small, intimate clearing in the middle of the woods. Stupid tree allergy! Again, don't want to go killing off my groom on my wedding day, and so this lovely location is out.
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Remy's favorite is the Crestview Chapel. It is a larger clearing, but is still tree-lined. And so either Remy determined the trees shown in the picture don't affect him so much or he figured there were spread out enough for him to breathe. Whatever his determination on this location being safe for his allergies, he loves it, and for excellent reason. This quaint tree-lined field has a glass-domed gazebo and the breathtaking mountain vista that I dreamed of. The site would also easily hold our guest list since it is normally for a wedding of 175 - 250 guests and we only want about a hundred.
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And, of course, little, low-maintenance, budget-maker, penny-pinching me picks the most expensive choice out of the locations. In my defence, it is only about $200 more than the Crestview Chapel! Anyway, the Chapel Terra is a huge courtyard with the same domed gazebo as the Crestview Chapel. The gazebo is flanked by beautiful waterfall features and a large stone wall that towers as a backdrop. Formal gardens surround the guest seating, and there are no allergy-inducing trees around! This location is usually for 200-350 guests, and so perhaps I could negotiate a price cut since we'll have half the guests they normally worry about, and so everything else they need to do - which brings up the price - could be cut. In theory. My fear though is that they might bump me for a bride that actually HAS the large wedding guest list.
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As I mentioned, the Stroudsmoor is kind of pricey, and this is a key factor in whether or not we get married there. However, the large cost includes a lot that the other, cheaper locations may not. And so in the long run it may actually be even or maybe cheaper at the Stroudsmoor Country Inn! (I know, I'm grasping at straws here.... but I want to get married here so bad!)
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Examples of things that Stroudsmoor covers: an event planner, an additional hour to the event, preparation of the site, rentals, an indoor alternative in case of inclement weather, guest seating, alter "accoutrements", and the use of a bridal lounge for a half-hour. *whimpers* I want!!!

Wedding Shows That Make You Think

OK, I'm going to try real hard to post as much of my journal as quickly as possible; since I'll be doing a whole bunch of wedding stuff this upcoming week! I have two cake tastings, two bridal shows, and a consultation with a possible DJ/photographer. I really would like to post those relatively close to when it actually happens, but we'll see. I am pet-sitting, and so I don't really have much time on the internet. Well, anyway, enough rambling. On to the journal entry.
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Dec 18, 2009
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Celia came running to my room, informing me that I HAD to watch this one show. She also reassured me that if anyone acted "like this" she would personally kick their ass. She had been watching a montage episode of the TLC network show "Say Yes to the Dress." The show follows bridal gown consultants as they attempt to make a sale. This particular episode was sort of a season highlight reel. Celia called me in for a segment where everyone the brides bring shopping with them give their all-out opinions. Sometimes you wondered who the dress was really for. So frustrating seeing those brides just take it! Thank God Celia's got my back. ^_^
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I ended up watching the rest of the episode, even when Celia left with Peter. I watched the next episode too. And the one after that. TLC themes the episodes, and so the ones I watched were about overly opinionated mothers and then plus-sized girls. All-in-all enjoyable shows. I even re-watched the encore presentations with Mom. Mainly, so I could go, "OMG! See? I'd deck someone!"
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Anyway, there were two mothers - one from each episode - that made me SO grateful for MY mother! The first was from the "mothers" episode. A girl named Amanda had literally grown up in beauty pageants. She had been in them since she was nine months old! And CLEARLY "mom" hadn't come to terms with the fact that her twenty-three-year-0ld wasn't a pageant queen any more. So the bride tells the consultant that she wants to stay away from the poofy ballgowns because they drown her five-foot-two figure. Then Mom - getting death glares from her daughter the whole time - informs the consultant that she wants an over-the-top, dramatic, princess ballgown for the bride. Before you could blink, trying on one or two ballgowns to appease Mom turned into Mom will only pay for a ballgown. The mom kept telling the bride that she didn't know what she's talking about and to just trust her (mom). Soon the bride broke down in the dressing room and informed the consultant of a wonderful non-pageant, non-ballgown dress that she had fallen in love with while dress shopping in Philly. After encouragement from the consultant, the bride reminded her mom of the dress. The I-Know-Best woman informs her daughter that she didn't look good in that dress and to just forget about it already. There were a few more tear-filled disputes before the consultant gave up on the sale and convinced her bride to go buy the other gown from Philadelphia. Man, did I want to strangle that mother. However, she still wasn't as bad as the second one!
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This time from the plus-size episode, one of the cruelest, most shallow mothers I've seen. This time the bride was shopping about a year before her wedding. She was planning to lose about twenty or thirty pounds, but couldn't wait to start shopping. She was just so excited about the engagement and trying on dresses, and yet she brought along her mother and cousin. Now, to fully set the scene: Mom was equally - if not more so - overweight, and the cousin was probably about ninety pounds dripping wet. They were also some of the rudest women I've ever witnessed! The bride looked SO pretty in just about every dress that she tried on, but her "support team" just kept laughing and teller her she looked ugly! Ugly! Not that the DRESS looked ugly, but that THE BRIDE was ugly! The cousin said such things as "[the groom] will take one look at her and say 'that's it, I'm not marrying her.'" or "that dress looks so cheap!" The cousin also asked the bride, "why do you have to go all hoochey-mama? It's gross when you're over weight." And the bride's good old mom would just laugh to the point of tears, agree with the cousin, and point out where you could see the bride's rolls! Nice mom! No sale here either.
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Now, why am I venting in my wedding journal? I don't really know. Maybe because it's a wedding-related rant. Maybe because it helps me appreciate my Mommy and her actual support. Anyway, the next part is still sticking with TLC's wedding programming, but it had some interesting things to spark ideas for my wedding - and so it seems to fit a little better here. Whatever, the next show was a sneak preview for the new show "Four Weddings." The basic concept is that four brides score each other's weddings and the highest score gets a free Honeymoon. I won't talk about the show itself this time. Instead I'm just going to point out those points that I want to think about for my wedding.
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First, I'm such a mush. Every time they got to the vows I thought of mine and Remy's and got all misty-eyed. Just wanted to throw that out there. *clears throat* Anyway.
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The first wedding was held outdoors and two things I wouldn't have thought of came up. One was that the officiant was two HOURS late! What will Remy and I do if this happens to us? Not only will the guests get restless, but it throws everything else off. There will be longer rental fees for the ceremony, there will be paid-for-but-not-used reception fees, and a choice between either a shorter reception or shelling out more cash for the same reception time we originally set. The vendors will also be thrown off, such as the food arriving two hours before being needed, paying more for longer hours for the DJ, photographer, videographer, transportation.... The list goes on. Oh boy, would I prefer to be married on time! So now I'm trying to figure out how to manage that. Do we have a second officiant on stand-by? I voted that, since I'm scripting it all anyway, we could have an aunt/uncle/cousin/friend/whatever officiate via script and then legalize the marriage via justice of the peace after the fact. Yeah, Remy shot that idea down quick, "we're going to be legally married at our wedding!" Perhaps I could ask my just-happens-to-be-a-pastor aunt to be our contingency plan....
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The second unforeseen disaster was that of the wind - and so bringing up the worry of nature in general. The problem was that the wind was so loud - and no one had a microphone - and so no one heard the vows, not even the TLC camera men! I'm not putting all of this effort into something we can't hear being said! We'll have to talk to the eventual sound crew about some ideas to insure that won't happen.
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In the end the $70,000, five-hundred guest, Big Fat Greek Wedding won the Honeymoon. The cheapest of the four weddings was about $25,000 for a guest list of 120. Remy and I have a ways to go with our savings! He did give me about sixty bucks in change, and so it IS growing slowly but surely. Better than before when it didn't grow at all. We're currently at $172 - all in change. I also really need to switch up my accounts at my bank. Currently, I'm still with my "student free checking" account; which completely ignores the fact that I've been out of school for three years now. *blush* AAAAAAANYWAY... I need to talk to the bank and see about possible smart options for saving up for the wedding and also the possibility of opening a new savings/checking account specifically for the wedding fund. Maybe I should look into do so with another bank - one that Remy can also easily access so he can deposit up by him.... Gah, I'll figure something out, I guess.
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OK, I THINK that was a touch more coherent... Oh well. I'll try for another post tomorrow.

The First Official Entry!

Bad blogger, taking a mini-break. Actually, I've been doing some wedding stuff, along with pet-sitting for someone. And so I only get about 2 hours on the internet each day and I just didn't have the time to post anything. And if you're curious about what wedding stuff I've been up to, you're going to have to wait. I'm building up to it! But first, I must take you guys back. You must see the start of the journey! Thusly, for the next series of posts I will write them straight out of my wedding journal, complete with dates of the original entries. The first one comes from December 7, 2009. Go hop in your time machine and come join me!
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Dec 7, 2009
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Finally, an official journal entry! I visited Remy for his 26th birthday this past week. It's amazing to be able to see him! I just came home yesterday and already I miss him so much!
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Anyway, I'm supposed to be journaling about our wedding progress, right? So that's what I'll do.
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We spent a majority of the week at The Den (the commuter lounge at the college), the mall, playing Mario Party DS, watching movies, and me watching him play Dragon Age: Origins. With all the activity, it was hard to fit in the time to talk about the wedding. I managed to do so mainly while he was playing Dragon Age on his Xbox 360. Basically, I'd watch the game's cut scenes and then go back to organizing the bazillion magazine clippings; pausing Remy whenever I wanted his opinion on something. I ended up filling two grocery bags of pages I wanted to throw out!
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I do feel that Remy and I have a lot of the essentials figured out now. We want a Celtic-themed wedding (thanks to the Handfasting idea). The ceremony will be held outdoors, but the reception will be inside due to our October date (whatever that date may be), and the possibility of cold weather. We want our colors to be deep blue and gold to give a throw-back to Lycoming College's school colors, since that's where we met. However, we also want the Celtic green (and maybe the October orange). And so we're now thinking the main colors will be the blue and green with gold, orange, and bridal white as accent colors. Is that too many? Another option seems to be keeping the blue and gold, but having Remy and I stand out with the green and white.
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Along those lines, I had forgotten to write that during the days I spent with Remy after his proposal, one of the things we looked in to (with Celia throwing in her thoughts via AIM) was bridesmaid dresses. Remy's view is to have the girls in saffron (closest color to gold) and the guys in blue, with Remy and I in green. Neither Celia nor I are sure any of the girls are the right shade to pull off the color, and so I'm thinking that the whole bridal party is in blue with gold accent - like a saffron shawl or sash. I also always thought of having the Lyco-blue accent in my bridal gown, but the Celtic-green might work - I mean, I look good in green. ^_^
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Since I'm talking about the bridal party garments, I also want to say that we've decided - mainly because Remy hates wearing a tuxedo - that the men will be very Celtic looking (without the kilts; I tried, but Remy won't bite). The men will all wear dress slacks and shoes that they already own (save them some cash), as long as Remy and I approve of the condition the items are in. As for their shirts, the men will wear what is called "swordsman" style shirts. There is even a local Irish store that makes wonderful quality shirts. To try to tie in (excuse the pun) the gold accent color on the men, we could trade out the cords that lace up the v-neck so that it is a gold instead of the normal black color.
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Another element we were playing around with was the idea of making a customized stamp that we could use for wax seals on our invites. As mentioned in an earlier entry, we already picked the motif of the rose-wrapped sword. I think it would be really cool to have that as a wax seal! Regardless, we'll have the design somewhere within the invitation, which I will be designing on my computer so I can give it the medieval style fitting a handfasting ceremony. I know it was also mentioned in an earlier entry, but we're also trying to budget for a wedding sword with our names and wedding date engraved into the blade.
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We decided that we wanted a buffet, but we're not sure on the menu. I've been watching David Tutera's My Fair Wedding on WE Network (with Mom), and he suggests not having heavy food because, just like with Thanksgiving, it will weigh people down, make them drowsy, and will keep them off the dance floor. And since that's where I'm planning on spending the better part of the reception, I want people to join me!
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Remy and I also decided on a Sweetheart table instead of the traditional Head Table. Also regarding the reception, we know we want a DJ instead of a band. Remy gets to create a "Do Not Play" list and I'm allotted one "group dance" (although I'm trying to negotiate having at least two). Although, I am banned from using either the "Chicken Dance" or the "Cha Cha Slide." Well, I know I'm definitely using the Electric Slide (some negotiation was already used here - Remy doesn't like that I'd be leaning forward). I was going to have the Cotton Eyed Joe as another group dance, but the song is about a man breaking the hearts of all the women in a town, and causing them to run away - leaving a town of only men. We'll see if I ignore the song meaning and just play it for the fun-factor (well, if I can get Remy to allot me a few more group dance songs ^_^).
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Just this past week, Remy and I finished three main things dealing with the wedding. The first was the complete bridal party. Remy finished up picking his groomsmen, and we paired everyone up. The second accomplishment was figuring out the entrance music for the bridal party as they enter the reception. A little while ago I had read Remy a blog that I found detailing a gamer-geek's wedding. One of the elements they had used was using iconic games like Super Mario Bros. or World of Warcraft as their table "numbers." Remy loved the idea so much that he wanted something similar. Therefore, he came up with the idea of having the bridal party introduced with iconic game songs. **The following information has been removed so that wedding guests that are reading won't have the surprised ruined for them. I will try to remember to place it back in once the wedding is over** We didn't talk about the music for our parents when they're introduced. I think we forgot about that part.
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Well, the last big accomplishment was a finished guest list! Remy wanted to have about sixty guests at our wedding - very tiny and intimate - however, my extended family alone is about fifty, and so Remy agreed to invite a hundred guests. We're still over that count by about ten people, but not everyone will be able to attend, and so we should be fine.
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OK, so that journal entry was a bit all over... Here's hoping the rest are a little more coherent now that I'm reading them later...

Progress Thus Far

OK, so now for me to punch in some of my journal entries. These date back to December, however, they may have some jewels in there to help out you other brides - at the very least it might make you feel not so alone with your confusion. :-P
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Anyway, I'm just going to type them up as is. And so, even though this first entry says that Remy and I haven't done much with wedding planning, we actually have the basic planning done. In fact, as of this post we have the major aspects figured out - we just need to start booking vendors and such. However, as of this JOURNAL ENTRY we haven't had much done. I know, it doesn't really make much sense, but pretend it does. ^_^ *clears throat* Anyway, without further ado....
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Since the proposal, we haven't really done much along the lines of wedding planning. And so I'm just going to note everything we HAVE done leading up to the present. Moving forward I'll write in dated journal entries.
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First, there are the hurdles Remy and I need to jump before true planning can begin. First is my job. In May I was fired from my job. I was actually using my college degree and everything! And then... nothing. As of right now I'm a "sandwich artist" at a local Subway(R) sandwich shop. And so, not only am I not really raking in the dough that I need to fund a wedding, but I'm also not sure where my job search will send me.
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Second hurdle is the stupid long distance! I'm not sure how my one friend pulled it off, but planning a wedding with a long-distance fiance is not fun! Plus, almost six years of long-distance is quite enough for me! Considering all the angles, it seems better that I move up to Remy.
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Which brings me to the BIG hurdle: Finances. Neither Remy nor I have much of a nest egg saved, and both of us already have school debt, and so we really don't want to have to get a bank loan for our wedding. Neither of our parents really have money to spare either, and so we know we're more-or-less paying for the wedding ourselves. Even with my cost-cutting ideas, "How to Save" books, and "Family Only" wedding guest list, it's hard to keep a budget of about $15,000 - let alone actually SAVING that much FOR the budget! And Remy and I STILL need money for actually living together! I'm trying to save my work tips, and cut costs even more than I have in order to save money while still living with my mother, but at the rate we're going financially, we won't be married for another five years! I need to think of something soon.
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Our last major hurdle? Where to actually HAVE the wedding! Do we have the wedding in New York or Pennsylvania? I really can't plan more than I have over the past four years (of pre-engagement) without starting to hire vendors. But where do I hire them? I'm planning on living in New York state when Remy and I get married; so it would probably be easier on me to organize a wedding up there. I won't have to travel four hours to meet with vendors, and do I really want to travel for my own wedding? But on the other hand, my family is (almost) all in Pennsylvania and New Jersey. My side would be traveling at LEAST four hours for my wedding. How many would actually do that without it being some sandy beach destination wedding? Also, Remy's extended family is mostly from Georgia, and so they'd travel farther to New York than Pennsylvania. However, if they're already coming from Georgia, is the extra four hours really going to affect them? Then we have the battle of Mom verses Kitty. Mom hates driving and Kitty doesn't seem to mind at all. So why make the mother who doesn't like driving cover the distance? Plus, there's an unspoken benefit to being the bride's mother. Sort of an honor above the groom's mother. Mom even threw in her two-cents about the matter by stating that she went through thirty-six hours of labor, where as Kitty almost gave birth on the elevator to the maternity ward. Therefore Mom deserves the wedding by her. I just don't know which state wins out...
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Ok, so another hurdle - one that is sort of minor as of right now, but will become a major one once the other issues are figured out - is wondering who will officiate the ceremony. Since Remy and I want a handfasting for our vows, it may be challenging to find someone willing to officiate. In the meantime, I'm scripting the ceremony. Handfasting is typically a pagan or Wiccan ritual these days, and so I have to rewrite all the ceremonial sections so it has a Christian, and NOT pagan, base. So far, the part I spent the most time rewriting is the ceremony of the Sword and Chalice.
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What is the Sword and Chalice ceremony? Well, basically, in the ceremony the groom presents a sword as himself and the bride knights him with it. Then the bride presents a chalice as herself and the groom toasts her with it. However, the point of the ceremony rests on the pagan symbolism of the sword and chalice representing man and woman based on their genitalia. Worst part is that just about anyone who even SAW "The Da Vinci Code" would recognise that the ceremony is basically about vows of fertility. The sword half isn't very obvious, and in fact it made Remy and I tear up as we read it. And so the "chalice" half needed to go.
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Thankfully, Remy came up with our wedding motif a few years ago: a sword wrapped in a rose. My wonderful cousin is going to be designing the actual motif for us (THANK YOOOUUUU!!!). And so, I don't have the motif right now, but here are two samples of what we're thinking of: Sample 1 and Sample 2. He told me the sweet symbolism behind his idea was that the rose means "love" and the sword "honor." Backtracking about four or five years, Remy and I found a set of charms that said "To Have and To Hold" and "To Love and To Honor." Those two vows really stuck with Remy, hence the sword and rose symbolism. I, however, like to extend the metaphor a little bit. The sword, along with honor, symbolises strength and protection. The rose is beautiful and gentle. All-in-all, a perfect motif! Continuing further, the Celtic tradition also dictates the presentation of a "wedding sword" to the couple for protection. And so Remy wants to have a sword engraved with our wedding date. All the pieces seemed to fit, and so it was easy to rewrite the chalice segment as a rose instead. The same basic concept is still there, but not as blatantly obvious as before. My favorite part is that instead of Remy toasting me with the chalice, he will recreate our handfasting by tying the rose to the sword. I'll have to remember to post the actual ceremony at some point.
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Well, aside from writing our ceremony, I have been slowly working on our wedding website through TheKnot.com. It has been a very slow process, mainly because I have no real details to post yet - not even the YEAR - and also I don't have any nice pictures of Remy and I. In fact, I should probably put that on my list of things to do for the wedding: I need to get some nice pictures of Remy and I together...
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Anyway, I also started organizing the HUNDREDS (literally) of ripped-out magazine pages I've been collecting over the years. It is a long, tedious process, especially since most of the pages are articles with advice that I must now re-read. Some times I feel like I tore apart too many bridal magazines and organizing it all is too large of a task! However, if I can't conquer this task, how can I handle the daunting challenge of throwing a wedding?
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So, yeah. I haven't really done much else to prepare for the wedding thus far. I feel a bit over my head here. I just wish I had someone that I could bounce ideas off. I feel like I'm going to drown in all the details, but I must go it alone - more-or-less. Here's hoping I make it out alright.

The Proposal

Ok, so sorry about not posting in a little bit. I was too busy getting ready for my Valentine's Day weekend with Remy. ^_^
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And in the spirit of Valentine's day, I feel now would be a great time to tell you all the Proposal Story. ^_^ So gather round and get comfy.
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My one friend from high school got married June 20, 2009. I was one of her bridesmaids and my entire family was invited. Mom, my sister, and Remy were all guests. What a great opportunity! I was busy with the bridesmaid duties; leaving Remy and Mom alone time to have the "ask parent's permission" talk (I have an old-school, widowed mother).
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Remy has a social disability that makes it hard for him to confront people, and so just asking my mother's permission - even though we all knew she'd say yes - was a MAJOR task for him, and even with the opportunity available I wasn't so sure he'd be able to take advantage of it. Well, it kept most of the reception, but he finally pulled my mother aside to have "the talk."
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Well, in the end Mom did give her blessing - after Remy and I dating for six years! He even made my mother tear up as he showed her the ring he had been carrying around for about two years! He nearly tipped her over to flat out crying when he informed her how he planned on proposing. Remy later informed me that my reaction to his proposal was almost identical to my Mom's reaction. Good God, I'm turning into my mother! ^_^
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Anyway, the day after my friend's wedding was Father's Day, and so I drove Remy home to spend it with his father. The odd thing was that he really didn't spend much time with Donald once we actually got to his home. In fact, I think I spent more time with his parents than he did.
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When we got to his house he took our bags upstairs - I was going to spend a few days up there since I was unemployed at the time - and I said hello to his parents. We all then heard Remy yelling while upstairs. I offered to go help him look for whatever it was that he was searching for, thinking it might have been his Father's Day gift for Donald. When he barked that I need to stay downstairs and not help him I knew something was up.
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He then began an argument with Kitty. As per usual, she "cleaned" and rearranged his room unnecessarily while he was away, and ended up moving something on him. As he and Kitty searched his room for the misplaced item I got to keep Donald company.
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Eventually, the item was found and Kitty rejoined me and Donald in the living room. Remy, however, stayed upstairs for about another fifteen minutes. At this point I still had no clue what he was planning, but I had a feeling it had something to do with a proposal, and I wished he wasn't so agitated before popping the question.
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Finally, Remy joined us downstairs and we all wished Donald a happy Father's Day. Remy and Kitty gave him their gifts, and we talked a little bit more. Then Kitty told Donald to join her upstairs so Remy and I could have some alone time. The way she said it, the twinkle in her eye, I knew then what Remy was about to do, and I wanted to call out, "No! Stay here, I want people to witness this!" I didn't want to ruin Remy's moment though, so I quietly let them leave.
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Now there is a large, blue recliner in Remy's living room. There is no couch or other recliner. Only the one recliner and a few wooden chairs. And Remy claims the recliner is "his," but I sneak into it whenever I can. This was one of those times. While I was talking to Kitty and Donald, and Remy was upstairs searching for his mystery item, I took the opportunity to steal "Remy's Chair." Meanwhile, Remy was sitting in my normal chair. And so, once his parents vacated, the first thing Remy did was move me out of "his" chair. I thought nothing of it as he took me by the hands, walked me over to "my" chair, and sat me down. It was when he then kneeled that my heart jumped!
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Being majorly into astronomy and alligators, I had given Remy a stuffed alligator for his birthday last year, and it came with a tag that would allow you to register a star in your name. I thought it would be AMAZING for Remy to have his own star. Well, Remy thought otherwise, and after battling with the website used for the star registration (which is why he had remained upstairs for that additional fifteen minutes), he finally registered his star in the Cassiopeia constellation. The name? "CasieHart Will You Marry Me" My name had to be one word because he didn't have enough available characters to include a space.
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Anyway, back to him getting down on one knee! So, as he pulled out the ring box I didn't even give the poor boy a chance to ask me before I started slapping him on the shoulders! I just kept crying out, "Oh, no you didn't!" He looked up at me (which wasn't REALLY "up" since he was almost eye-level with me - I'm too short! TT_TT), the ring still brilliantly sparkling even in the living room's dim lighting, and asked me very gently, "Casie Hart, will you marry me?"
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Of COURSE I didn't actually respond to him! I just kept slapping his shoulders and kissing him. Eventually, I realized that I never officially said "yes," and so I choked out the word. I then shoved my hand in his face, squeaking "Put it on! Put it on! Put it on!"
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Remy then informed me off the star name and how he was originally going to have me read the printed certificate, but the website wasn't working well with the family computer, and so he could only verbally inform me of the star. He didn't even know if the star was officially registered. Hell, I don't car if it's actually registered! I'm telling people about it anyway! Who'd know if it was or wasn't official? ^_^
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After having the ring actually on my hand, I playfully yelled at my new fiance:
"Why didn't you do this with people around?"
"That star was supposed to be for you, goof!"
"What do you mean Mom, Celia, Sue, and both your parents knew!?"

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Well, apparently the answer for that last question went something like this. After Mom gave her blessing Remy showed her the ring, as I said above. He then waited until I was distracted with the bridesmaid stuff and showed Celia and Sue the ring and informed them of his plan. Finally, while driving him back home, Remy called to inform his parents of his plan while I was pumping gas. He even called them using MY cell phone!

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Anyway, after I finished harassing Remy, I frantically took a good picture of my left hand using my cell and sent it to Mom and Celia. I called up my mom shortly after and we all had an excited squeal-fest. After that I called just about everyone in my cell phone's contact list. I informed both of my female cousins by officially asking them to be my bridesmaids.

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I spent the next two hours refusing to call Remy anything but "My fiaaaaaaaaance!" I stared at the ring until the sparkle nearly blinded me. And I randomly turned to Remy and said, "This is really real now! I mean, for REALS! We're seriously going to be married in a year or two! I'll be Mrs. Wilson in like a year or two!"

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I do need to add this in as sort of a P.S. to this story. The reason why Remy picked the Cassiopeia constellation. There is a scene in the beginning of the movie Serendipity where John Cusack's character points out that Kate Beckinsale's character's freckles resembles the Cassiopeia constellation. And Remy pointed out that I too have the constellation on my arm. He even pointed out a freckle that would be the rough location of "my star." Check out the pictures below!

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The picture I sent to my mother and sister to show them that Remy proposed!

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A better picture of my ring! I still couldn't quite get the sparkle... I suck at taking pictures...

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My freckled left arm. Do you see Cassiopeia?

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Can you see the constellation now? ^_^

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The arrow points to the freckle that is the rough estimation of "my star" in the constellation!

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Close up of the "my star" freckle. ^_^ Can you find it in the night?

The Romance Story

OK, need a little background on me and the wonderful fiance? I'm all for that! Here's everything according to my POV and recollection.
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Remy and I ended up going to the same Lycoming College Freshmen Orientation weekend towards the end of June 2002. If I remember correctly, Saturday night there was a mixer with karaoke and volleyball. I sang on the balcony outside the college store Jack's Place (JPs for short). Remy was on the Quad playing volleyball. He claims he vaguely remembers me singing "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks while he played, but we didn't meet then.
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Sunday farewell brunch, just before sending the families home until August 23rd, Mom found an empty table and we were shortly after joined by an older couple. Being quite talkative, Mom and I soon found out from the couple that they had a daughter that was already attending Lyco, and that was a main reason their son was now going to attend. Eventually they waved down a tall, broad, shy guy who joined us, but he didn't really talk enough to leave a lasting impression. In fact, I didn't really recall ever previously meeting Remy (we ended up being assigned to the same dorm floor and that's where I THOUGHT I met him...) until parent's weekend when I was re-introduced to his parents. In fact, Kitty and Donald are near impossible to forget!
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Remy and I had further interactions our fall semester, but we didn't really click as friends until Karaoke Night in the following spring semester. I believe it was the February monthly karaoke; the same night I was "initiated" into The Inaccurate Triad, a small group of Remy's guy friends, and one of them was a mutual friend. The group was really big into "The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams, and the last book in the series had the cover tag "The fifth book in the increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhikers Trilogy." Since the group consisted of four guys and now two girls, the "Inaccurate Triad" seemed an appropriate group name. Anyway, from that point on Remy and I were inseparable.
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Despite me still technically dating someone else, many thought Remy and I were a couple throughout that spring semester! What I think really bonded us was the joint lamenting sessions we had over our lost loves - he had a crush on someone and I had broken up with that as-for-mentioned boyfriend - as well as being the only ones willing to listen to the other's mourning. Remy later informed me that he realized he liked me during one of his solo sessions in which his normal "I love Lauren" Freudianly Slipped to "I love Casie." He also informed me that upon returning from a Reel Big Fish concert held on campus, Remy felt he was really falling for me and almost built up the courage to tell me so.
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My first realization of my feelings was when his mother forced him to dress up for his sister's dance show. It was one of those "cleans up well" moments. I knew he was forced to do some major grooming, and so I had the camera at the ready, but I nearly forgot to take the picture when my heart jumped at my first sight of him. My second sign was when he left for home at the end of the semester. I still THOUGHT I had feelings for my ex-boyfriend, however I was missing Remy more, even after just one day apart.
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May 1, 2003, Remy, the other girl in our group (Emma), and I were talking in AIM. Remy devised a plan to match up Emma with one of his old high school friends. The plan worked beautifully. The next day Remy and I talked via AIM (I was still at school and he was home). We commented on how awesome his matchmaking skill were. I was ready to get over my ex, and so I asked Remy to match me up with someone. Gathering courage, Remy did something he rarely did. At 12:19am, on May 3, 2003, via instant messenger, Remy asked me "Casie Hart, will you go out with me?" The question threw me for a moment before I finally agreed.
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Our first date wasn't until my birthday in July. We went out to dinner and watched "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl." Our first kiss, however, was a day before (I think it was just one day...). We had just finished watching "Spiderman" in my room and we decided to re-enact the famous "upside down kiss." I laid on my bed with my head hanging off the edge, and he kissed me. Just writing about that moment gave me chills and caused my heart to jump! ^_^
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Although Remy and I did slow dance in the rain outside the movie theatre that first date, our first OFFICIAL slow dance was when we were at Dorney Park for my nineteenth birthday - a start of a birthday tradition that lasted five years. Emma, Remy, and I were sitting outside a gift shop; waiting for the motion sickness pills to kick in. It started drizzling a little and "In the Still of the Night" started playing on the nearby park speakers. Remy pulled me to my feet and we danced, ignoring everyone else in the park.
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When Remy called me that one winter day to inform me that he wasn't going to be able to return to Lyco for our Sophomore spring semester, my heart dropped. I didn't know how we'd be able to hold on to a long-distance relationship. Well, nearly seven years seems to prove that we're strong and ready for this new chapter in our lives. And the realisation that I wouldn't see him so frequently - no longer taking for grated that he'd be right there - was when I knew I was in love. Simply because I didn't want to walk away.